this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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