Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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