I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
