Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
