But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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