It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
