id be glad to
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
