Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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