Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
