Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Screwed.edu
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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