Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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