Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
