i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
