proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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