i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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