he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
