Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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