dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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