We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
