So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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