I wanna bring you to show and tell
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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