Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
