i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
