I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
