He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
