wanna go halves on a baby?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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