dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize