but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
