You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's never too late to be topless.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
