He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize