I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
