I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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