tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
