I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
