ya dads aren't the best wingmen
People in love make me want to vomit
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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