I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
