i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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