we made out on top of his cat.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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