Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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