Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
