My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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