I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
