the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
