Porn is love you can see.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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