Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
