So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
