I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
