If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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