I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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