All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
