No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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