So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
