Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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