God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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