I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
