RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
im holly from the hills drunk
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
