i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
