She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
