hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
