Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize