You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
