speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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