Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
