I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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