He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
