watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
