So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
