i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize