...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
