I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
