I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
