He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just had sex on a roof
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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