First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
